When my husband told me a year ago that we have a mission to fulfil, my mourning periode was over – I thought (see: How it started). At that moment I was filled with joy that we could continue to work together as a team. How naive I was to assume that this was the end of the grieving period! In this regard, I was able to learn a lot over the past year. Today I know that grief has many layers and that only that phase of grief was over back then.
My husband says: grief is related to limitation of the senses. If you think about when you are sad, you will keep coming back to the topic of limitations. When someone dies, you are sad because you can no longer perceive this person with your “normal” senses. Limitations are part of life in the physical world and therefore grief is too. Many people are able to perceive more subtle levels – this can also be trained – and thereby at least partially overcome the limitation of the physical senses.
TLC at the end of life
I recently took part in a TLC training at the Soul Midwives School. TLC = tender loving care at the end of life. TLC is based on the Soul Midwives movement founded by Felicity Warner. Soul Midwives are holistically oriented companions who support the dying in order to facilitate a gentle and tranquil death. The school’s “Gentle Dying” techniques are now being adopted in many hospices, hospitals, and nursing homes throughout the UK.
The TLC training is designed to enhance the care for people at the end of life by caregivers and volunteers. It is focused on compassionate support for the dying and people with progressive or life-limiting illness. TLC involves a unique classification of the stages of dying and offers simple tools and gentle techniques to provide comfort and support.
This TLC course has proven very helpful. It took me out of the direct experience of the last phase of my husband’s life. By shifting my focus to the whole dying process, which began much earlier, I gained distance. After many happy years together, it was a pity that the last tough time was in my memory in the foreground. Thanks to the TLC course, it is now in the background, and the happy memories are in the foreground.