Like it or not, time and life move on. At some point we are confronted with situations and get to know people who have no connection with the deceased. The new that every moment has in it shows us again that which is beautiful, interesting, joyful.
This is a point in time that – if unconsciously – can create internal conflict and trigger strong emotions. Especially when the relationship with the deceased was very close. We should go on in life, but we do not want/cannot leave the deceased behind. This dichotomy can create resistance to moving on. It would also not be healthy to cut off from someone important in our life.
How can it continue?
My husband said the following on that point: “It is about your consciousness. You HAVE already moved on in life, together with me. WE have moved on, have developed – each in their own way. You recognized that in September too. Back then you were still clearly in the intermediate phase, it was about planning your future. Intermediate phases take place in the present. In being present, you felt that I was with you (see blog post December 2020: Being present). You had not thought about how our future could be, how you could integrate me into your further life. But life continues to unfold, and so subconsciously an inner conflict arose. As soon as I showed you that and how I can be part of your future, you recognized your dichotomy and that was thus resolved. ”
It is helpful if you make it clear to yourself that you do not begin a new life but a new phase of your life. The love and attachment to the deceased continues to exist. Including the deceased in your further life strengthens your inner relationship with her (see blog post November 2020: Integrating the deceased into our present life).
Moving on in life can be a new phase of life with the deceased, in which you live your love for him in a different way. Small rituals that you perform regularly can support you in this. Listening to “your” song, or drinking his favorite tea, writing a few lines to him in the morning or in the evening … or surrounding yourself with mementos from happy times together. Whatever feels good to you. It is the little things in everyday life that create a feeling of continuity and connectedness.