I recently read the book “Spiritual Journeys along the Yellow Brick Road” by Darren Main. In it, the author reflects on the quest of the main characters of the book “The Wizard of Oz.” On page 132 he quotes the Tin Man (film): “Now I know I have a heart because it’s breaking.” This passage is about grief.
On page 133/134 he says:
“Grief is a heart opening. It is a surrender of the way we thought things were and an opening up to the greater truth behind them … When we experience grief, our heart is growing in its capacity to love, and with that growth come growing pains … The growth of our heart happens as we say goodbye to impermanence and say hello to the eternal nature that exists within all beings.”
This has helped me most in coping with grief. Ever since I read this, with every wave of grief I think: growing pains, and instead of going into grief I go into love – this significantly reduces the frequency and intensity of grief.
Transforming grief
My husband says:
Ultimately, this is a transformation of grief. Don’t look at what you lost – look at what you gained. So many opportunities to express your creativity in a variety of ways, new friends from all over the world … Sometimes you think: I cannot believe it is really over – that is because it is not over. There is no loss, there is only change.
Your awareness allows me to be alive to you. What you focus your attention on determines your energy level and thus whether and how you perceive me – as a dead body or as living on without body.
Focus on how we live our love now. Everything you do now is a continuation of the life we had before I left my body. I am a part of it, and I want you to enjoy it so that I can enjoy it too. Our journey continues.